March 19, 2025
Pregnancy and the year after giving birth can introduce all sorts of new wonders and worries for your child and growing family. That being said, they don’t always make sense. If you’ve ever had intrusive thoughts — such as worrying a wild animal might attack your baby in the stroller, felt extremely anxious about carrying your infant over concrete or refused to go to the grocery store because of a newfound sense of stranger danger — you aren’t alone. And you are not crazy.
Nearly 100% of new mothers report having intrusive (unwanted) thoughts about accidental harm coming to their baby. As many as 50% have unwanted thoughts about intentionally harming their baby.
To understand why new parents tend to experience these unwanted thoughts, we spoke with Natalie Wuest, an MU Health Care licensed professional clinical counselor. She explained that while many people are likely to experience intrusive thoughts at some point in their life, they can be more common and quite distressing in the perinatal period — a defined timeframe from conception until a year after giving birth.
“Intrusive thoughts manifest as repetitive and persistent ideas, images or impulses that intrude upon an individual’s conscious mind, leading to feelings of discomfort or fear,” Wuest says. “But just because you have thoughts about harm coming to your baby does not mean it will happen.”
When it comes to intrusive thoughts, Wuest believes knowledge is power. She shares six critical truths about perinatal thoughts of harm:
1. Intrusive Thoughts During Pregnancy or Postpartum Means You Care
Experts aren’t entirely sure why people have intrusive thoughts in the years before and after giving birth. Hormones and mental health issues can certainly play a role. But some believe that scary new mom thoughts may be a product of evolution.
Intrusive thoughts typically stem from fear. So, humans have evolved to be hyper-alert to sources of danger, especially when they are new parents. Thinking the worst helps us stay alert.
“Your job is to keep this baby safe,” Wuest says. “So, you’re suddenly aware of all these threats that weren’t relevant to you before you had a child.”
The good news is that there is no evidence that shows moms act on intrusive thoughts or urges. In the extremely rare case that a new parent does harm their child, they are typically struggling with a severe mental health problem and have no support network.
2. Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts Can Be Disturbing
Intrusive thoughts happen all the time, not just during the perinatal period. You might imagine swearing at your boss, have the urge to hit a car after it cut you off or worry you forgot to close the garage.
Perinatal intrusive thoughts are all about your baby and tend to fall into one of two categories:
- Accidental harm, which involves something happening to the baby
- Purposeful harm, centered around you hurting your baby
“Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and involuntary,” Wuest says. “And they may shock you.”
Wuest adds that she has heard just about every intrusive thought you can imagine, including:
- “I’m worried a coyote will attack the stroller and take my baby.”
- “When I put my baby in the bathtub, I have a random urge to put them under water even though I really don’t want to.”
- “Every time I pick up a knife, I think about it going into the soft spot on my baby’s head.”
- “I can’t load my groceries in the car because I think someone will take my baby when I’m not looking.”
“If you experience a thought that feels crazy and makes no sense, that’s okay — and can be common,” Wuest says. “But we want to evaluate how frequent and intrusive these experiences are and the level of distress you are feeling, as it may warrant the need for treatment. This could include a combination of medication and psychotherapy.”
3. Some People Are at Higher Risk for Having Distressing Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts and other perinatal mood disorders happen to anyone, any time during pregnancy and a year postpartum. But your likelihood of having harmful thoughts increases if you have risk factors, such as:
- Being a first-time parent
- Breastfeeding
- Experiencing a trauma or big life event during the perinatal period
- Having a previous mental health diagnosis
- Lacking a solid support system
“Peak timeframes for developing a perinatal mood disorder are between six and ten weeks postpartum and around the eight-month mark postpartum,” Wuest says. “This is the same for breastfeeding moms and nonbreastfeeding moms. However, there are some who hypothesize breastfeeding could be a cause for the eight-month peak, since this is a common time the natural weaning process starts or a mom decides to discontinue fully.”
4. Dads and Partners Can Experience Intrusive Thoughts, Too
You don’t have to give birth to experience intrusive thoughts as a new parent. As many as 40% of new dads develop perinatal depression and anxiety that can manifest as harmful thoughts.
“We are diagnosing dads more often with perinatal mood disorders,” Wuest says. “They are also experiencing thoughts of accidental and purposeful harm to their babies.”
Dads and partners tend to have harmful thoughts less often than new moms, and their thoughts may not be as upsetting.
5. Intrusive Thoughts Can Be Related to Perinatal OCD
Hormonal changes during the perinatal period can make you as likely as the general population to develop obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Approximately 17% of pregnant and postpartum people experience perinatal OCD.
It’s easy to see how fear and intrusive thoughts might turn into obsessive or compulsive behavior. If you repeatedly imagine your infant suffocating in their crib, you may constantly check on them while sleeping. If you’re worried about your child’s health, you may obsess about a clean house or scrub bottles more than necessary.
Signs that you may have perinatal OCD include:
- You spend more than one hour of your day doing something obsessive or compulsive
- Obsessions and compulsions make it difficult to manage your relationships, caregiving, work or daily tasks
- Your obsessive-compulsive behavior is distressing to you
“If your thoughts become obsessive, it can become problematic,” Wuest says. “It can also feel like a full-time job trying to act on the compulsive behaviors that create the illusion of calmness but is only temporary.”
OCD isn’t the only perinatal mental health diagnosis associated with intrusive thoughts. They can also be linked with depression, generalized anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
6. Perinatal Intrusive Thoughts Can Be Managed and Treated
You can’t control your intrusive thoughts. But Wuest offers tips for managing their impact:
- Don’t judge yourself: Remember, thoughts don’t equal action.
- Educate yourself: Intrusive thoughts often represent something you fear.
- Observe your thoughts: Recognize them for what they are and then let them go.
- Find support: Look for support groups in your area. Organizations such as Postpartum Support International offer additional information and resources.
- Practice mindfulness: When thoughts feel like they’re racing, try using mindfulness strategies to remove judgement and bring yourself back to the present moment.
“If you start to feel like intrusive thoughts are constant and more than you can handle, talk to a provider,” Wuest says. “I always suggest going to a provider you trust, whether that’s your OB/GYN, pediatrician or primary care provider.”
A health care provider may recommend treatment, such as:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Medication
- OCD-specific therapies
“The goal is to reduce the distress you’re experiencing,” Wuest says. “Intrusive thoughts are common during this time in your life, but we always want a mom to feel in control of the distress those thoughts can bring on.”
Next Steps and Useful Resources
- Want to discuss more with a doctor? Find a primary care provider, OB/GYN or mental health provider today.
- If you are a provider looking for more resources to help patients experiencing perinatal intrusive thoughts, check out Maternal Health Access Project (MHAP).
